It hurts to know everyone around you conceive when u dont

My husband and I are married for almost 2 years now,we been trying to have a baby since we became boyfriend and girlfriend, we been trying for almost 3 years now with no joy.yes it hurts,so painful , every month, whenever my period arrive I cried. to the point that its affecting my emotional state, more, if people see you online, in facebook or in yahoo,old friends, classmates, will ask if I am already pregnant. I give them different answers, whether I am busy, not time, yet God hasn't given it yet,or no baby for now because I want to pursue my career, or sometimes I wont bother to answer them,or I will turn off my computer. my friends here in Maryland they all have kids,one of them has 5 months old baby girl, and she is very adorable. my friend she is now 6 months pregnant, I am actually doing a lot of defense mechanisms like reaction formation etc. Oh no! its so much emotional conflict in my part. I am crocheting the baby a blanket thinking what if its for my baby. Many people will come to me and give advises on how to make a baby. I read all the books already. I did what people told me to do. medically or myth beliefs. I tried them all. I am so stressed, that's why I cant get pregnant. people told me that lots of people tried for maximum of 15 years before they become successful,some tried for 5 year and more. people should be appreciative. they dont how it takes. some women are so lucky to conceive quick naturally with no problem.

Before Meal, before bed time. our prayers is asking for a baby. boy or girl it doesn't  matter as long as its healthy. we are going to be the happiest couple in the world.

After 18 months of continuous trying we decided to take the next step which is IUI (intrauterine insemination) We did it in Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington DC. an hour and half drive from our home. its a big project. we started getting ready about November last year. before we begin the IUI, we needed to undergo to a different series of tests, like HSG,they visualized if I have blockage,different procedure for instance the Pelvic Ultrasound to make sure I do not have polyps growing or cyst because Fertility drugs and IUI procedure itself will make it worst. they are making sure that we are both healthy and capable to undergo this procedure.

We are qualified to do an IUI, we are given three try. The first IUI was done in Feb. 20,2011. a male doctor done the procedure. it was holiday that time. but the IVF and IUI are open for the people who will be doing the IUI. the procedure starts by taking oral medication, a fertility drug (Clomephene/clomed).Clomiphene is used to induce ovulation (egg production) in women who do not produce ova (eggs) but wish to become pregnant (infertility). Clomiphene is in a class of medications called ovulatory stimulants. It works similarly to estrogen, a female hormone that causes eggs to develop in the ovaries and be released.

Clomiphene comes as a tablet to take by mouth. It is usually taken once a day for 5 days, beginning on or about day 3 of the cycle. which is the 3rd day of menstrual flow. what a project? right? yes I did all these. 

on day 11 I will start testing for LH surge at same time we will refrain from intercourse. Imagine that. Sigh......Luteinizing hormone (LH, also known as lutropin is a hormone produced by the Anterior pituatary glad In females, an acute rise of LH called the LH surge triggers ovulation, normally it will show up on day 12-14 from the first menstrual  flow. when the ovulation test become positive for LH,its time to call the Clinic before 8pm. you will go to the clinic as early as 7 AM to obtain a sperm specimen, we prefer fresh semen. thanked God that my husband is an over achiever. the qualified count of sperm for IUI is 20million but my husband sperm count is triple.

The first time we did the IUI, we are so hopeful and happy after the IUI I am very hopeful, I really want to tell the world that I am having a baby soon,I didn't do it I kept with just my close friends and relatives at least they won't criticize. if the procedure is not successful. knowing that the success rate of IUI is only 6-8 percent. after the procedure it feels like its going to be the longest month of my life. I need to wait for my next period if no period meaning I conceived. its heart-wrenching when you don't! IUI has is not easy. after this. you will have cramping,left side or ovary on right side sometimes both, I was so bloated,big time! hopeful? yes! scared? definitely! I am asking myself, is this a good sign? crossed fingers all the time! its not easy to write this blog. I am crying right now. its so painful but I do not want to lose hope because there are a lot of chances,we are both young and normal,perhaps its God's plan. 

After the first month of try, here we come again, another set of clomed,same steps. our second IUI was done last march 22,2011 this time a female infertility practitioner. this time, I am lil sad, I have so many questions in my mind but still hopeful and praying for the good result. 

unfortunately, it wasnt succesful, this time I am a lil bit ready for the emotional pain. I am still hopeful yes I am. I will never give up even though the experience is devastating. sometimes its crazy to think,am I being punished? 

And we came to the last try,the third try, we did just this month (April 22) same process.......I am now feeling the symptoms of post IUI, the bloating,cramps etc. ....

The result will be on May 7....I hope you will follow my story and find out if the third IUI will be succesful. Hopefully it will be!

Trying Bazaar food

Inspired by Andrew Zimmer show on travel Channel, I've watched the episode where he travels around Indonesia. since its part of South east asia, I am familiar with the fruits and some foods.Very yummy. but some are,oh very Gross.
In this episode, I was fascinated by their tradition,culture,beliefs and religion. I was so astonished by thier important event where they  gathered youths for teeth polishing and they believe that fang  teeth is a bad thing. this young people will grow old like an animal, attitude will be like animal. since Animal has fangs. hmm interesting. while they are doing this ritual on the side people are preparing this whole pig which will feed about 200 people. no waste of parts, all parts are included from feet to intestine etc. they used vegetables and spices. it turns out to be very yummy.

and because of these......I wanna travel to indonesia.

If you love them,they will love you back,if you are nice to them they will be loyal

Toki and Kitsune

Lovely names, as people always say, yes they are my precious my cat and my dog. they are both rescued from the animal shelter.

My husband is a vet, He is the one to check for pets before they can be put in animal shelter. We got Toki first and a year after We got kitsune. they are both young and healthy. when we PCS we took them with us. on the plane Kitsune is on our lap and Toki was placed in the cargo area. poor toki but he went fine. we are curretly station in Aberdeen proving ground Maryland..

more later.....

Trip to Kamakura

 History (Reference : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamakura,_Kanagawa#Early_history)

Kamakura (鎌倉市, Kamakura-shi^?) is a city located in Kanagawa, Japan, about 50 kilometres (31 mi) south-south-west of Tokyo. It used to be also called Renpu (鎌府^?) (short for Kamakura Bakufu (鎌倉幕府, or Kamakura Shogunate^?)).
Although Kamakura proper is today rather small, it is often described in history books as a former de facto capital of Japan as the seat of the Shogunate and of the Regency during the Kamakura Period. Recent research has revealed however that this was never the case.^[1] If Kamakura ruled the Kantō, not only was the Emperor in fact still the ruler of Kansai, but during this period the city was in many ways politically and administratively still under the ancient capital of Kyoto.^[1] Kamakura was simply a rival center of political, economic and cultural power in a country that had Kyoto as its capital.^[1]
According to The Institute for Research on World-Systems,^[2] Kamakura was the 4th largest city in the world in 1250 AD, with 200,000 people, and Japan's largest, eclipsing Kyoto by 1200 AD.
As of March 1, 2010, the city has an estimated population of 174,016 and a density of 4,390 inhabitants per square kilometre (11,400 /sq mi). The total area is 39.60 square kilometres (15.29 sq mi).
Kamakura was designated as a city on November 3, 1939.
Kamakura has a beach which, in combination with its temples and proximity to Tokyo, makes it a popular tourist destination. Kamakura's bay has a surf break off of the headland point, albeit an inconsistent one, which makes it at least a second-tier destination for surfers. It is also noted for its senbei, which are crisp rice cakes grilled and sold fresh along the main shopping street.

Our own story:  to follow

Interesting animal world!

Hi all,

Today, we are in fort Detrick, an army base, where my husband gave a speech about animal laboratory research.

It is very interesting, Ive learned that there are animals who got no gall bladder, I saw also different parts of snake and thier organ different location in thier body, the long and the short, Ive seen different kind of unique animals from toad to bats,birds,alligator etc...what a great experience for me, being a nurse I only studied the human anatomy.

I will post more about my experiences today.

see ya guys later.....

"As a beginner "

Hi,
Let me introduce myself, I am jenifer Cox, 27 from Philippines married to an active duty military  (David Cox) he is my inspiration everyday...ah well.. you will get to know me more for the next few days, years or decade. as long as I am blogging. so please follow me. I promise I wont run! LOL. I am very entertaining person. I love creating new cool stuffs just to make myself happy. I am one of those person who can say thanks to facebook. my life never gets boring since they created that social network. why? because I love chatting. I am very outgoing person. not descreet mind you, sometimes I get into trouble bec. I am too open to everybody..but that's ok, hey that's me...what else you can do about it?

Please understand that I am a pure Filipino, born and raised in PI,American language is not my first language. when you read my blog, you can ask me what am I trying to say because for sure there will be grammatical errors. 
so much for this for now....

I would like to make a special acknowledgment, to Melly Capistrano, Thank you very much! I learned this blogging site from her.

your truly,

Jenifer